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Valentines Day And Cupid Needs Glasses, A Hearing Aid and A Better Aim

The modern day single woman knows that Valentines Day is the day to have her single friends on speed dial and a can of maise in her handbag when they hit the town. If you’re a modern day single woman, then the chances are you already know that Valentines Day is just a ploy for retail shops to sell merchandise and for chocolate companies and florists to clean up.

Oh, and don’t forget about those plush toys companies. Who needs a tacky toy holding ‘I wuv you’ heart? Or ‘you have my heart’ or any of those really soppy I want to vomit in my purse sayings. Hang on a darn minute! NO vomit is going in my purse because I don’t carry one. I’m a modern day single woman who only carries my iPhone in its case. If it doesn’t fit in my iPhone case-I don’t need it! I think Cupid has got lazy and is sitting somewhere eating all the chocolates that were suppose to be distributed to all of us fabulous single women who are NOT dried up old prunes but are just INTIMIDATING because we have realised that despite human mentality dictating the need for us to partner up, we are perfectly whole in the singular state. That’s either it, or Cupid is in desperate need of glasses as the arrows are missing their targets. I think maybe my dog got hit with Cupid’s arrow as he is in love with me. He follows me like a love sick puppy, he tries to steal a kiss every chance he can (YUK!) and he doesn’t like me to leave his sight even on the toilet trips. Cupid!!!! You fool! I didn’t ask for that much adoration. It’s that time of year again, when we single people are rudely reminded that we are alone. ALONE. Do Happy Valentines day Quotes you get those questions..

. Q. “How’s your love life?” A. “Da-non existent (unless you mean the cat or the dog adoring me when it’s dinner time.)” Q. “Have you met anyone special?” A. “I meet special people all the time. They’re everywhere. They cut in on your park when you clearly had your blinker on, they stand with their trolley in the middle of the shopping aisle so you can’t get past, they ring you up and then ask you to hold while they have a conversation with someone else, they… Oh- you mean special? Nup.” 

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